I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
