Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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