someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
