What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
