um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
