How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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