I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
There r osticjed everywhere
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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