his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
