I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
