whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
