Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize