So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
