i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
