hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize