It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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