Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
sex in a hospital.. check
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
