I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
