You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
