i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
