i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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