too bad you live with your parents still
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
