I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
