so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
