Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
