I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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