Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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