girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
