Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
