ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You ruined the universe
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
