lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
