im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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