So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
