his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize