i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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