we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
