I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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