you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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