I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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