operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
