you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
