oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
