Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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