guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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