U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
