He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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