Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
