you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
