Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
