What a fucking waste of an outfit
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
