thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
