The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
