hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
