Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
