i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
