So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
