then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
