everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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