How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
