thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
