wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
