5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
