No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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