i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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