I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
