In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
