I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
